Friday 8 July 2011

More on Stepping out

If you've read the other posts you'll have an idea on what has been going on.
Well this week I've struggled. We've had chatterbox since Tuesday afternoon. DH has been great and took 2 days off work to be with her instead of making me take responsibility. And for the next 2 days he's been able to drop her off at his parents caravan as they are up visiting for bub's 1st birthday. It seems like such a hassle to do all this but I've had to prove my point of i just don't want to step in where it's only going to back fire on me.
I don't like not communicating with her, and having stepped back I've realised how much I did communicate with her and how much of a say I was having before all this happened....good and bad. yes she can piss me off at times but don't all kids?and well really, i was only ever treating her as my own and talked to her as I would my own kids.

Having just written that paragraph, i went to feed the dog and do a few more things. And soo much has changed just since then. Chatterbox came of her own accord to apologise to me for what she had said . I was shocked but very excited at the same time.I said, so we're good? we can go back to how we were ? she nodded then came over to hug me. We both were about to cry so quickly we both started talking to break the awkwardness. I told her I did miss talking with her and that I'd never ever not have her welcome at this house, even though we do get annoyed with each other sometimes, but I reminded her I also get annoyed with my own kids too,so I'm not just singling her out.

It's such a relief, I feel like a weight has been lifted. I'm going to try and be better at this step parenting thing if I can, and try to look at things still from the outside and let DH lead more (with my guidance lol) but not be so hard on her case. She is a good kid and that's plain obvious by the fact she apologised. Yes i know Grandma has been in her ear, but it takes a biiig person to say sorry and she did it!!
Chatterbox has such a great relationship with the kids and I'd hate for anything to get in the way of that. They love her to bits and I do think she feels the same way.
It really pained me this whole week to watch everything that went on since Friday night last week because I knew the real chatterbox was out there and she was just influenced by others. Just gotta pray she stays on track.

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